With that said.
FUCK YOU GUY WHO THINKS I SHOULD SMILE MORE.
Seriously!
HERE'S YOUR SMILE *flips the bird*, NOW SHOVE IT YOUR FUCKING ASS, YOU TWAT.
I swear to the higher powers that may or may not exist, if another man tells me to smile more, I'mma fucking punch them dead in the face.
I do not exist to improve your surroundings. I do not exist to increase you viewing pleasure. I do not exist for you to ogle. So when I am in a bad mood, or fuck, in no mood, good or bad, and just in line at the local Noodles, trying to think if I want Pesto Cavatapi or a Chicken Caesar Salad, or I'm waiting for my order, I don't need to have any other fucking face on than the one that's already there.
I don't need to smile for anyone. Not for you, not for my mother, not for my sister, not for my husband. No one. If I am not even on the same planet as everyone else around me because my brain is thinking of ... you know ... important shit, my face may not be the most pleasant thing upon which to gaze.
Take your male privilege that so encouraged you to even say something that fucking rude to me, and choke on it. How would you like it if your grandma just died and you were sad and had a frowny face on and I came up to you and said "You need to smile more?"
/rantoff
I started this bit because, for about the fourth time, a person I work with who will remain nameless told me that I needed to smile more while I was eating in the cafeteria.
The first two times he did this I gave lame excuses. "You wouldn't be smiling if you had a sinus infection," or "I'm too cold to smile, it's -25 F degrees outside". The third time, I just said "Nope, don't think I will."
This time, I flat out ignored him until he pointedly got my attention by saying my name. And the main reason I ignored him was because I was paying attention to my phone. I had my face buried in it while eating. In fact, I was reading a book.
But nooooooooo, this asshat thought he would tell me to smile, again, when he hasn't gotten one out of me, ever. I don't even get why he does it. I have a fucking wedding ring on; does he think if he says it often enough I'll find ridiculously charming and want to sleep with him? I don't know his motives at all.
When he realized I was either a.) intentionally ignoring him or b.) actually did not hear him (I'm not sure if he noticed I was intentionally ignoring him), he decided to get my attention by saying my name.
Wrong, of course.
When I heard this, I looked up and asked him if he was talking to me. He said yeah, and I said, "Oh, it's Jeanna."
And then he proceeded to tell me to smile again. I'd had it. So I asked him, "What makes you think I should smile more?"
"I don't know, you'll look nicer?"
"What if I don't give a flying fuck about what I look like or what anybody else thinks I look like? Look, I'm eating my lunch, stuffing my face, and reading a book. How can my facial expression be important at this time? That's right, it's not. Only you seem to think that I have to have a smile to improve your viewing pleasure. News flash, I'm not here for you. I'm hereto eat, read my book, and then go back to my desk and do my fucking work."
"Jeez, you didn't have to snap at me." He promptly left the cafeteria at that point.
Had we been in public and not at work, I would have said "The fuck I did. You're privileged ass makes you think that you can demand certain physical appearances of people. You need a fucking reality check. For your sake, I hope you learn to never say this to another person, regardless of gender, ever again."
But I didn't really want him to report me to HR for verbally attacking him any further. I also didn't want to go to HR for some stupid harassment complaint. It wasn't anything I couldn't handle.
Again, I swear, if I hear another guy (or girl for that matter) use the term "Friendzone", I'm Friendzoning their asses into oblivion. Just a terrible way of blaming the person who doesn't like you. If someone doesn't like you, tough shit. No one, no matter what you do for them, is obligated to like you. You take away the other person's autonomy by assuming they will pay out with a physical relationship when you keep giving them friendship coins when in return, all you're getting back is more friendship coins. And then you keep doing this expecting a different result; that's called "insanity". Talk about manipulative fucks, you guys that do that crap make me sad. I pity you and your pathetic existences where you think you're so special you have to point out that you're a nice guy and that you'd be the best boyfriend ever. News flash: if you have to point that out, it isn't true. Heaven forbid you and another person just be friends without any physical relationship involved. Heaven forbid you tell the other person straight-up from the start that you like them more than that. That's stupid. It's their fault for not being a mind reader, not my lack of self confidence and my inability to admit my feelings to them. Their rejection of me is completely their fault, not any of mine, how could they not like me? I did all this awesome stuff for them!
/rantoffagain
Okay, fuck this, I need to sleep or something, this crap is starting to enrage me.
(Side note: a coworker bitched about being friendzoned and it took all of my willpower not to flip out on them).
